


Points of Origen

by sdlucly



Category: Switched at Birth (TV)
Genre: M/M, pre slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 21:07:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sdlucly/pseuds/sdlucly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wind hits him full force, on the throat and neck, where his helmet doesn't protect him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Points of Origen

**Author's Note:**

> Set after 1x04 and written back in 2011. Originally posted in my lj of the same name.

The wind hits him full force, on the throat and neck, where his helmet doesn't protect him. He can feel his throat tighten, the thoughts running through his brain, not quite shaped, morphing from one to the other, never quite coalescing. 

Emmett blinks, hands tightening around the handlebars, accelerating more than usual, more than he tends to.

One word keeps running through his brain, through his eyes, hands forming in the air before going up in smoke.

_separating_

Emmett takes the next turn a little too fast, a little too close, not quite caring, not quite seeing anything but red in his eyes, anger and frustration and wanting to scream and not quite knowing how.

He turns into Daphne's driveway, killing the engine and pulls down the kickstand with his foot. He runs up the stairs to Daphne's apartment even as he's taking off his helmet. He rings the doorbell, fingers tight around the edge of his helmet, his other hand curled into a fist against his forehead. He can feel his pulse pounding in his ears, feel his whole body vibrating with something inside him that he doesn't know how to name.

He rings the doorbell again, worried that maybe there's only Daphne inside and she hasn't seen the lights blinking. He tries the doorknob and finds it locked. Something in him tightens, coiling, before he hits the door with his helmet. If Daphne were inside, the door wouldn't be locked.

He makes his way down the stairs, into the drive of the Kennishes, and sits down on the seat of his bike. He looks down at his hand, knuckles white against the lower part of his helmet. He's panting, breathing ragged, his jaw clenched. Everything in him is angry and suffocating. He had to get out there. He thought... god, he thought coming to see his best friend would help. He thought he'd find her here. He thought he could tell her, tell her what his parents had had to tell him, considering he walked in on them fighting, fingers livid as they signed.

He throws his helmet against the stone wall, mouth opened, jaw clenched. His eyes sting even as he curls in on himself, fingers in his hair, the heels of his hands against his eyes.

He breathes, telling himself in and out, heart still racing and knuckles hurting, when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

He turns around, surprised, standing up as he does so.

Toby's standing there, on the other side of the bike, shock on his face probably mirroring what Emmett feels, hands raised in a placating demeanor.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you."

Emmett swallows thickly, reading Toby's lips easily. He's speaking slower now, slower than he used to do, back when he first met him. Hell, slower than he did back at the fundraiser. He shrugs. He turns around, see his helmet lying on the floor. He can't help but glance at the wall, wondering if he left a mark, but he can't see anything at first glance.

He picks it up, walks back to his bike.

Toby waves his hand around a bit, trying to catch his attention. Emmett looks up at him, eyes narrow. What the heck is with this guy?

"Where you looking for Daphne?"

 _No_ , Emmett can't help but sign, _I just came over coz I was in the neighborhood._

Toby frowns, tilting his head, confused, and for a second Emmett wants nothing more than to deck this guy, nevermind that he's never been one for violence.

"Okay, I don't know what you just said there," Toby says, and Emmett really wonders if Daphne would be too mad at him for kicking her not quite older brother's ass. "But if you were looking for Daphne, she's not here. Her and Regina, and my mom and Bay are spending the night at a Spa. Won't be back until tomorrow afternoon." Toby frowns again, tilting his head. "Would have thought she mentioned it to you."

And she had, Emmett realizes, thinking back now, calmer than he was not five minutes ago. He had just not remembered, angry as he was, desperate.

He nods, looks down at his helmet. He could go back. He closes his eyes. Only that's the last thing he wants to do right now. He doesn't think he could spend the night there, knowing his parents are fighting in the other room, knowing his dad is gonna be packing up his things and finding somewhere else to live.

Another tap on his shoulder, and he looks up at Toby, who's smiling at him with nothing but politeness on his lips. Toby's expression changes in a second, the fake smile leaving his face and concern coming over his eyes, the tilt of his mouth. Emmett recognizes that look, and in that second he realizes that Daphne and Toby, they really are related, the hair color is not just a coincidence. That's exactly how Daphne looks when she's worried.

"Are you okay?"

Emmett can feel his lips pursed into a thin lip, jaw clenched, hands not quite curling into fists. He places his helmet on the handle for a second, signing fast and annoyed, _No, asshole, I'm not okay, but it's not like I can tell you and not like you'd care._

Toby frowns again, and Emmett knows it's not fair to be signing when he knows that Toby can't understand him, but the truth is he doesn't quite care. Right now he doesn't care about anything but that his best friend is god knows where when he needs her the most.

Before Emmett can lash out at Toby, again, and probably sign some very crude words, Toby's changes his keys from his left hand to his right hand, and gets his left hand into his pocket. Emmett blinks, looks past Toby to the car parked further down the driveway, Toby's car probably. Daphne had told him that the Kennishes kids had some very expensive toys, but Emmett hadn't thought a thirty thousand dollar car would be one of them, if that Audi is any indication.

When he looks back at Toby, Toby's offering his cell phone. Emmett frowns, signing as he does so, _What the hell do I want your cell phone for? I have my own, you know?_

Toby frowns again and god, Emmett could laugh at his face, it's that comical, and so easy to put that look there.

"Look, I told you, I can't sign worth crap. I only know like five words right now, so I don't understand what you're saying." Toby extends his hand again, offering the Blackberry. "But maybe if you can type it up, we can actually, you know, communicate?" Toby smiles, nothing but a curl of his lips.

Emmett takes the cell phone and looks down at it. It's already opened at a Notes application. Thoughtful. He looks up at Toby, still smiling at him, encouragement in his eyes. That's a Daphne look too. He wouldn't have thought this guy could be thoughtful.

He types, _"I'm fine"_ before he loses his nerve, and hands back the cell phone to Toby. It takes Toby only a second to read it before he's lifting his eyes to Emmett again and very pointedly rolling his eyes. Emmett can help himself, he laughs, hand curled around his mouth. God, the gal of this guy.

"You're not fine," Toby says, slowly and clearly. "You live like 35 minutes from here. You came here to see Daphne, right?"

Emmett nods.

"Yeah, thought so. Also, I saw you throw your helmet at the wall. So I'm not buying the whole fine thing."

He snorts. He really doesn't give a shit what Toby believes or not. He rubs his right eyebrow with his left hand, eyes closing as he does so. He can feel a headache coming in between his eyes, idly thinks of the prescription glasses he left behind on his desk, in his rush to leave his house. Not that he really needs them, or at least not that he should. He remembers the optometrist telling them that he didn't really need to use the glasses all day, but that it was preferable to use them when he was using the computer or doing his homework. Emmett has no idea why, pinching the bridge of his nose, now of all times, he's getting a headache. 

A hand on his shoulder makes him look up, and there's Toby, standing not three feet from him, concern and worry in eyes, along with a couple more things that shouldn't be there, that Emmett shouldn't be able to recognize in anyone but Daphne. _They have the same eyes_ , Emmett can't help but think. Almost the same eyes. Toby's eyes are a shade of darker blue, deeper perhaps.

Emmett swallows, briefly considers taking a step back only doesn't at the end, he stands there, under Toby's hand, looking back at him. Toby smiles, just a curl of his lips, encouraging and a bit innocent at the same time, not knowing what is wrong with Emmett but, and this is so very stupid of him to think, almost like he doesn't need to. Like all Toby needs to know is that Emmett is _not fine._

After a moment, that lasts just a bit too long for Emmett to be comfortable with, Toby drops his hands to his side, keeps the smile on his lips, something light in his eyes. Emmett can't hear Toby chuckle, but knows that's what he's doing, by the slight shake of Toby's head, the way his mouth curls.

Toby seems to think about something for a second before frowning, as if thinking very hard about something, and a moment later Emmett realizes the reason for that. Toby signs, hands curled and fingers straight, almost like hitting his index fingers twice, then shakes his right hand, index finger still straight out.

This time it's Emmett that not quite chuckles, frowning as he does so. Toby had signed _where does it hurt?_ , which he doesn't think it was what Toby wanted to ask.

Toby laughs, shrugging as he does so, making a big production of shrugging, which for once Emmett doesn't take as patronizing, but funny as hell.

"I'm sorry," Toby says, slowly and clear, smile on his face. "That's the only question I know how to ask!"

Emmett smiles, because just like with Daphne, he can't quite stop himself. Toby has a very infectious smile.

Toby shrugs, and starts typing in his cell phone. For a second, Emmett thinks that Toby got a message or a text or something, but then Toby hands over the cell phone and there are whole sentences written there.

_"I'm not sure what happened, but if you came this late to find Daphne was probably because you wanted to talk to her and maybe even stay over. They aren't here, but you can still stay over at our house if you'd like."_

Emmett looks up to see Toby shrugging as he does so, still the smile in place.

"If you don't mind," Toby says, slow, clear, not difficult for Emmett to read.

Emmett nods, smiling as he does so. _I'd like that_ , he signs, he's hands easy and sure, hand opened on his chest, thumb and middle finger closing together as his hand moves away from his chest.

Toby frowns, and Emmett types it up really fast, handing it over to Toby. _I'd like that_. Toby looks up and nods, "cool."

Emmett picks up his helmet even as Toby is turning around, making his way to the house, typing as he does so.

He's gonna hit the wall, Emmett can't help but think, grin on his face. By the time they reach the French door, Toby hands the cell phone, arm over his shoulder, not looking over his shoulder to make sure Emmett's following. For a reason he can't quite understand, Emmett likes that. He takes the cell phone and reads, _"My dad had a poker game at the club. He probably won't be back until midnight or one. Don't worry."_

Toby's holding the French door open for Emmett, and he nods, walking into the house as he does so.

Emmett hasn't been in the house before, always been in Daphne's guest house and he's seen the inside of both the garages, Bay's and Toby's, but not the house. The ceiling is very high, and the colors are pastel and the decoration, Emmett can't help but think, was probably done by a professional.

There's a tap on his shoulder, and Toby is there again, looking at him, a curl on his lips. He jerks his head toward the staircase, and Emmett nods, follows him as Toby hands back the cell phone.

_"I had a pizza at Wilke's place. What about you? You hungry? I'm sure there's something edible in the fridge."_

The two door silver fridge with the liquid panel that probably announces when they are running out of soy milk or imported roasted beans? Yeah, probably. 

Emmett shakes his head, types, _"I'm fine, thanks"_ , rather fast, then hands back the cell phone to Toby.

"Okay, cool," he says before making his way to the second floor. 

**

Daphne had told Emmett that she'd seen Bay's room, that it was three times Daphne's old living room/dining room, and that she had her own bathroom and that she had a small balcony overlooking the back yard, back yard which's bigger than Daphne's old house and Emmett's current house put together. Backyard that leads to the swimming pool and the deck overlooking the swimming pool and the pool house and then there's the tennis court and a few more things that Emmett doesn't even remember.

Toby's room is just as big as he imagines Bay's to be. Maybe even bigger.

There's the bed, that's a double, or maybe even a Queen, Emmett is not sure, and there's the closet that runs all along one wall, one very large wall at that, with a full body mirror on one of the doors. There's a small dresser along the other wall and beside it there's a TV as big as the one Emmett has in his living room, hooked up to a Wii and there's an X-Box not hooked up but just sitting there, beside the Wii console, probably feeling neglected or something. Emmett has to chuckle behind his hand. There's a two piece recliner before the console and man, that thing has to have cost as much as his bike. There's a cubic bookshelf on one corner and beside it a large desk with a laptop base on the corner. And of course, clothes scattered all over the floor.

When Emmett finishes giving the room a glance, he turns to look at Toby smiling at him, shrugging as he does so, "Sorry for the mess."

Emmett shrugs nonchalantly, it's not like his bedroom doesn't look like this. Hell, his bedroom probably looks worse.

Toby taps out something rather fast and hands back the blackberry while he makes his way to his desk, lifting off his messenger bag and taking out his laptop from it.

Emmett looks down at the blackberry and reads, _"I have to finish my Physics homework, due tomorrow. It's almost done, won't be more than half an hour, and then I'm off to bed. You can use the bathroom if you want."_

He looks around for where to place his helmet, when Toby notices, and stretches his hand, indicating the recliner. Emmett nods, placing the helmet in the corner before making his way to the bathroom, glancing at Toby from the corner of his eyes. He's opening a program Emmett doesn't recognize before he's closing the door behind the image of Toby on the computer.

The bathroom is as large as Emmett would have imagined, if he had ever put any thought on Toby's bathroom. For a second, he thinks that it might be as big as his bedroom, in the house before where they are living now. God, that's depressing.

As he's washing his hands, he can't help but look at himself in the mirror, see the edges of his eyes, the way his lips can't help but curl into a sneer as he remembers his parents standing before him, not quite signing one over the other, but his mom wasn't waiting for his dad to quite finish his sentence before she'd start her own. She only ever does that when she's very pissed.

She was very, very pissed.

His hands tighten around the edges of the sink. He can see his parents' hands, moving one after the other, all saying things he never thought he'd hear. He had just stood there, while his parents tried to talk him into taking a seat at the kitchen table, or maybe the living room. He had just wanted to know what it was they were fighting about when he had walked in.

_Emmett, you need to understand--_

He had known they weren't exactly getting along. His dad was staying late at the office more nights than not. It had been a few months since his parents had gone out on their "dates" that used to bother Emmett, mostly because since he could remember, around six or seven, his parents used to go out at least one night a week, alone, without him. Being an only child, that never really sat very well with him.

_We have talked about this--_

He'd thought that... no, that's not right. He hadn't thought about it at all. Regina had asked his mom to go to the fundraiser with her, and Daphne had said she wouldn't go with Liam, but hadn't asked him to go with her. He'd been thinking about Daphne and Liam and seeing her wanting to fit in so badly, so horribly, that it pained him, and made him want to lash out at Daphne. Actually lash out at Daphne.

_This decision isn't rushed--_

He hadn't seen his parents pulling away, pulling apart. He hadn't noticed. He snorts, shakes his head, because, fucked, isn't that ironic? There he was, telling Daphne not to pretend to be someone she isn't, and isn't that what they were, pretending? God knows how long they had been fighting and lying to him, because, what, they thought he couldn't take it? How much longer would they have pretended, if he hadn't walked in on them fighting?

_We will always love you--_

He had had no idea. He hadn't even known they were at odds, let along that they would, that they could--

_We're separating--_

A hand on his shoulder makes him jump, and a for a second he can't help but think that he'd always believed he was deaf not stupid, not to notice Toby standing there, the bathroom door wide open, god knows for how long.

 _Sorry_ , Toby signs, hand curled into a fist, rubbing it against the left side of his chest in circles. Emmett thinks he should be surprised that Toby knows that sign, signs it as effortlessly as it looks, but he isn't. He really doesn't know why. Toby opens his mouth to say something, but doesn't, at least Emmett doesn't see his lips moving. He can see Toby frowning before pressing his thumb and index finger together, the universal sign for a second, or a bit, or something very close but that Emmett gets.

Emmett runs his right hand through his hair, hadn't even noticed his knuckles were hurting. How tight had he been gripping that sink? And how long had he been staring at himself in the mirror that Toby felt he had to walk into the bathroom to make sure that he, what, hadn't slipped in the toilet and knocked himself out? God.

Toby walks back into the bathroom, typing furiously, even as Emmett starts biting the nail of his right index finger.

He rubs his upper lip with his finger right before Toby is handing him the cell phone to him, and Emmett has to accept, because it might not be the most fluent conversation he's ever had, but at least Toby's trying. He doesn't think he could say the same thing about Liam. 

_"Are you sure you're okay? You looked really pissed off there for a second. Kinda like you were trying to see if you had laser eyesight and were testing it, you know?"_

Emmett looks up at Toby, who shrugs, and signs sorry, once again, like he's apologizing for calling Emmett on his lie. He's not okay, no, but he doesn't know how to explain what it is he's feeling. He wouldn't even know where to start.

So he types that on the cell. _"I don't know where to start."_

Toby reads it, shrugs after a second. "Start at the beginning," Toby says, his lips moving slowly, barely even moving, like he's whispering it. Toby signs _sorry_ again and looks down at the cell phone in his hands, thumbs starting to type.

Emmett hand moves on its own volition, fingers over the back of Toby's hand. Toby looks up at him. Emmett shakes his head. _"I got it"_ , Emmett mouths it, certain that no sound has left his lips. And that's not a difficult to sentence to lip read, apparently, because Toby nods, opens his mouth like he wants to say so much and, like him, doesn't know where to start. For a second he wonders if it bothers Toby that he can't carry on a conversation with him, with Daphne herself, even though she speaks so much she can actually pass for a hearing person. As it bothers Emmett right now, that he can't tell this person he hasn't known for more than two weeks, how his family is breaking apart.

He notices he's still touching Toby, fingers against the back of Toby's hand, not quite moving, not quite a caress, before dropping his hand to his side.

They stand there, in the middle of the bathroom, not saying anything. Toby opens his mouth again, covers it with his hand for a second, frustrated, annoyed.

For a second Emmett thinks about the girl at the fundraiser, the one with the white dress, how she had talked too fast for Emmett to lip read, how the second he had touched his hear and shaken his head, smiled at her, she had apologized, turned around and left. She hadn't even tried.

"What's wrong?"

Toby asks, again, can't seem to be able to ask anything else, and Emmett looks at him with confusion in his face, that only helps to confuse Toby even more, because then Toby's taking a step forward and placing both hands on Emmett's shoulders.

"Emmett, what's wrong?"

Emmett snorts, can feel his eyes stinging and something softens on Toby's face, head tilted to the side, and Emmett shakes his head, pulls away, takes a step back. He shakes his head again, even though Toby isn't coming any closer, isn't even trying.

 _My parents are separating_ , he signs, not caring if Toby can understand him or not. _They are separating and I didn't even know they were fighting, I had no idea. They are separating and my dad is moving out of the house and they just told me and I had no idea. I had no idea,_ he signs once, twice, the only thing that makes sense for him in that second.

Emmett can feel his jaw clenched and his lips trembling and he's so mad and so angry and so fucking sad, all at the same time, had no idea one could feel like this and not break apart into molecules. And Toby's just standing there, no idea what Emmett has just told him, that he's the first one to tell this to, that not even his best friend knows. Emmett laughs without a sound, and signs, _and you don't understand it,_ fist close, index finger extending once and then twice, hand shaking, his whole arm shaking.

Emmett has just told Toby this and Toby has no idea.

Toby opens his mouth, and Emmett wonders if Toby will ask him to repeat it, to type it, to finger spell it, fuck, Emmett wonders if Toby will ask him to leave, because no one on their right mind would put up with something like this, with Emmett like this. Instead of speaking, Toby takes a step forward, hand curling into a fist, rubbing the left side of his chest in circles. _Sorry_ , Toby's signing, and Emmett wants to laugh because Toby has no idea what he's being sorry for. Toby signs it again, and again, until he's standing right before Emmett, and then Toby's putting his arms around Emmett, careful and loose, as if afraid of scaring him.

Emmett shakes his head, places his hands on Toby's chest to push him away, only doesn't. He just stands there, not moving, standing still. Toby's arms aren't quite relaxed, but they are warm around him, and Emmett closes his eyes tight, lets his head fall forward until he's resting his forehead on Toby's right shoulder.

Toby's head turns around just enough, his nose not quite touching the side of Emmett's head. He wonders if Toby's speaking, if he's saying the stupid platitudes people say when trying to comfort one another. He wonders if Toby realizes that Emmett can't hear him, can't read his lips, has no idea what it is they are doing.

After a moment, he thinks he can feel Toby's lips moving against the side of his head, his hair, just above his ear. In his mind, Emmett thinks he can feel Toby's lips spelling, _I'm sorry._

***

It isn't easy to untangle himself from Toby's embrace, because calling it anything else would be stupid and pointless and he's none of those things. Toby's arms might be slightly loose around him, but they are warm and exactly what Emmett had needed, even though he hadn't known it at the time. 

They stand there awkwardly for a second before Toby smiles, shrugging as he does so, like he does this all the time, like he hugs guys he's barely known, that are closer to his sister than to him, all the freaking time. Emmett thinks his slight break down is making him lose IQ points. He suddenly feels very, very stupid.

Toby jerks his head toward the bedroom and Emmett follows him out, looking around the room once again, watching from the corner of his eye as Toby types quickly on the cell phone. The room doesn't have a carpet, but the two piece recliner isn't that small, he could probably fit there, comfortable enough. After all, it's only for one night, and he doesn't know if he'd be able to sleep much anyway.

When he looks back at Toby, Toby hands him back the cell phone and Emmett can't help but frown as he reads. _"If you don't mind, we can share the bed. Or you can take the floor. Or the recliner, though it's really small."_

Emmett looks up at Toby, and signs, you sure? though of course Toby doesn't understand. Toby just smiles and says, "If you don't mind," repeats it, even after he'd typed it in the cell. It's not difficult at all for Emmett to read his lips.

Emmett looks down at the cell phone, Smartphone with email and facebook and god knows what else. Neither Daphne nor him have one. It was too expensive and they used to tell each other that they didn't need it, not really, why would they need email or twitter? But Bay has one, and so does Toby, and he thinks that maybe Mrs. Kennish would want to give Daphne one and then, well, he might feel compelled to get one for himself.

Toby taps him on the arm, again, almost like it's a thing with him. Toby's grinning, the curl of just the corner of his lips, something mischievous in his eyes.

"Or you could sleep in Bay's bed," Toby says, and then he's laughing, at the look Emmett probably has in his eyes, in his face, which should be something horrified and shocked and all kinds of denial because, no, just no. That's Daphne, in another life. In a life where Daphne and Bay where never switched, where Bay was named Daphne and was deaf and went to Carlton and was probably Emmett's friend. Or maybe not, because Emmett had never really been comfortable with drama, or a loud personality.

Toby keeps laughing, and all Emmett can do is glare at him, a smile tugging at his lips. When Toby finally comes around, almost wiping the tears of his eyes, he says, "You should have seen your face!"

Emmett opens his mouth in outrage, right hand closing, fingers straight, right before his mouth. _Shut up_ , he signs again, but Toby is still chuckling, and even if Toby were paying attention, he doesn't know the sign anyway.

"Okay, okay," Toby says, chuckles dying in his throat, shaking his head. "So, bed or recliner?"

Emmett looks over his shoulder at the recliner, and yes, it doesn't look particularly long, and just the idea of sleeping on the floor makes him grimace. He turns around and signs, _I'd rather take the bed._

Toby frowns, but the sign for bed is right hand pressed against the right cheek, like mimicking sleep, so Toby gets the idea. "The bed?" He guesses, and Emmett nods, grinning as he does so.

"What's the sign for bed?" Toby asks, frowning, so Emmett does it again.

Toby grins. "Great," he says, doing the sign, and Emmett laughs this time around, because he remembers the fundraiser, and Toby asking how to say great.

Toby turns around, going to the closet while Emmett looks at the bed for a second. It is big enough for two people, hell, big enough for three people with enough room to spare, but still. Last time he shared a bed, it was his bed with Daphne, and they were ten, and it was a sleepover. It was the last sleepover they had. With a sigh, he takes a seat on the edge, and starts undoing the laces of his sneakers, and for a second he can't help but think that thank god he's wearing clean socks, and underwear.

When he looks up, Toby's standing before him with dark blue sweatpants on his hands. Toby shrugs, "Figured you'd be more comfortable."

Emmett takes the sweats, signs _Thanks_ , hand straight, fingers against his chin before lowering them. Toby shrugs, picks up what Emmett thinks might be his pajama pants, or just sweats for bed, before getting into the bathroom. Emmett takes that as his cue to change rather fast, folding his jeans and leather jacket, placing them on the recliner next to his helmet.

It doesn't feel right to get into bed without Toby, or before Toby, and Emmett frowns, rubbing his upper lip with his right finger, because man, that wasn't a sentence he'd ever thought he'd get to say, let alone think. He sits at the edge of the bed once again, hands around his cellphone. He knows his parents will worry about him staying the night out, not that he should pacify them, considering how they just sprang this on him. But that's not right, not fair, and he sighs and sends his mom a message. _I'm staying at a friend's house. Will be back in the morning._ Which is actually kinda the truth, because he hadn't thought about Toby as a friend before, but after this, saying that he isn't would be bull.

A moment later Toby walks out of the bathroom in a white tee and dark gray sweatpants, throwing his clothes in the hamper before making his way to Emmett.

"Choose a side," Toby said, and since Toby is standing almost by his side, Emmett chooses the other one, walking around the bed.

They push the covers back without saying anything, and before long they are crawling into bed, only the lamp on Toby's side the only light illuminating the dim room.

Emmett lays on his back, arms folded over the covers that go up to his collarbone. There's a good ten inches between him and Toby, and yet it almost feels like he can feel Toby's warmth through the space, Toby's touch even though they aren't touching.

Toby's also lying on his back, and after a moment of not moving, not saying anything, just as Emmett is certain Toby's gonna kill the lights and he will have to try and find in him to sleep, Toby picks up the cell phone and starts typing.

When he hands Emmett the phone, he can read, _"You still didn't tell me what was wrong. Or you said it and I didn't understand it. Sorry about that, by the way."_

Because he can think twice about it, or talk himself out of it, he starts typing. He types everything he told Toby in the bathroom, and how his parents had tried to explain but whatever it was they said, it wouldn't have made any difference, because they were splitting up and his dad was gonna find another place to leave and he would have two homes and any and all explanations were pointless, because they were separating and he had had no idea.

He can see when Toby finishes reading it, because his right arm, the one not really touching Toby, tenses. Toby props himself in one elbow, looking down at Emmett. The room is too dim to see Toby's features clearly, but he thinks he can see something soft in his eyes, something that might look like understanding.

"I'm really sorry," Toby says, clearing, loudly, doing the sign awkwardly because he's propped up on the arm that should make the motion. And for a second Emmett thinks he can feel himself wanting to hear the word, from Toby's voice, with Toby's intonation. For a second, he wishes he could hear Toby say this, this and a dozen more things, the same things he was probably saying in the bathroom as Toby held him, just to know what the words sound like, just to know that Toby gets it even if he doesn't, not really, just to know. In the second, all he wants is to hear those words.

Toby doesn't say anything. Maybe because he doesn't have to, maybe because he knows Emmett wouldn't want to hear them anyway. Maybe because they really wouldn't matter. Emmett needed a place to stay, a place to crash and someone to listen, even if they didn't know how. Or maybe he just needed a punching bag, a wall to take the hit of his helmet and arms around his body to push his forehead against a shoulder.

Emmett swallows past the tightness in his throat, nods as he does so. Toby nods again, not smiling, but saying something with his eyes, and this time it's Emmett the one that feels like he doesn't know the right language, doesn't know the sign for what Toby's saying with his blue eyes. Toby nods once again, before letting himself drop back to the bed, turning off the light between one blink and the next.

Emmett can't hear Toby's breathing, but he can feel the small movement their combined breathing makes on the bed, the swaying motion, slow and continuous, easy, lulling.

He feels Toby turn around, to his left side, back toward Emmett. He takes in a deep breath, then lets it out through his mouth, slowly, controlled. Another, and then another. After about the twentieth, he thinks he's relaxed enough to at least give sleeping a fair shot.

The bed continues its motion, and suddenly his eyelids do feel heavy, and he feels tired, adrenaline long ago burned.

He turns to his left, curls a bit in on himself. His left hand lays extended as he starts falling asleep, fingers not quite curled, fingertips not really touching Toby's back.

***

The next morning isn't awkward, not really at least. He wakes up early, even though it's Saturday and he'd been awake until rather late. He's changed into last night's clothes and washed his mouth with the mouthwash he found in the bathroom by the time Toby wakes up, as Emmett stands by the side of the bed, looking down at him, contemplating if he should wake Toby up.

Toby stretches, both hands rubbing his eyes. He mumbles something Emmett can't really read, so he reaches down and pokes Toby's forearm. Toby lowers his hands and glares at Emmett. Emmett can't help but smile.

"Too early," Toby says, mouthing the words carefully with his lips, easy to read.

Emmett grins, Toby glares at him even more. Emmett grins again, showing him teeth, and Toby lets his hands fall over his eyes. Emmett pushes Toby's hands off, and Toby blinks up at him.

 _I have to go_ , Emmett signs, jerking his head toward the door.

Toby nods, taking the edge of the covers in his hands, starting to sit up even as he says something, Emmett can see his mouth moving but he can't read Toby's lips, not when Toby's movements are hazy with sleep. Emmett places a hand on Toby's shoulder, stilling him. He shakes his head. He raises his hands, hands opened, the international sign for stay, or wait. Toby frowns. 

Emmett thinks he could say so many things, thank Toby in so many ways, with so many words, fingers easy and fast as they move through them. But it wouldn't matter. It would make very little difference, Toby probably knows what Emmett would say, he seems to understand him better than Emmett ever gave him credit for. He jerks his head again, a small smile on his lips.

Toby seems to get it, like Emmett thought he would, and he nods, falls back on the bed, eyes opened, glued on Emmett.

Emmett picks up his helmet from where he left it against the corner of the nightstand. He opens the bedroom door, and pauses. He looks over his shoulder at Toby, still lying on the bed, hair mussed, eyes sleep tinged. He swallows thickly, the smile falling from his lips, ducking his head as he walks out of the bedroom, out of the house, out of the driveway.

***

Later on in the afternoon, Daphne texts him to tell him that the Spa was amazing, that she now loves vanilla scented candles, that there's this girl that gives massages to die for, literally to die for, and that she's coming back, with Kathryn alone if her mom doesn't want to join her.

Emmett texts her back saying that that's great, and that he hopes she had a great time.

He doesn't tell her about his parents, doesn't think it's right to tell her by text. Doesn't think he could talk about it twice in as many days.

***

Sunday he spends it in his bedroom, lying on his bed, reading for pleasure. Daphne has plans with Bay and Toby. She had asked him if he wanted to join them, but he said that he still had homework to get done. He doesn't think he could face Daphne, who doesn't know about her parents.

And he doesn't think he could face Toby, who doesn't.

***

He picks Daphne up on Monday, at the same time as always. She smiles at him as she puts on her helmet, her eyes bright in the morning sun. He smiles at her, but can't help but think that her eyes are too clear, too soft. They should be a shade darker.

When he turns around, looking away, he notices Toby standing by the side of his car, grinning at them -- at him.

He watches from the corner of his eyes as Daphne waves at Toby, at her brother. Toby grins wider, signing, Hello, hand against his face and then up, then does the sign for Daphne's name, happy with a D, and then Emmett's. For a second he doesn't know how Toby knows the sign for his name, then he thinks he must have asked Daphne. And then he remembers, Daphne doing the sign for his name when she introduced him to the band, to what is his band now.

Daphne waves again, and Emmett can't stop himself, lets go of the handle to wave at Toby, his head tilted to the side.

He thinks Toby's grin becomes even wider, tells himself he must have imagined it. Before he can think more about it, he turns around the handle, accelerates, drives out of the Kennishes driveway. He doesn't look over his shoulder, he doesn't turn to look at Toby. He doesn't need to.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I personally love this pairing, even if I only wrote like three stories and ended up with more plot bunnies than stories written, but I figured I could still post it here. Just in case.


End file.
